This post is a love letter to all of my female friends through the years. Some friendships I’ve kept over decades and across oceans and continents. Others have faded in and out, serving their purpose and then leaving my life. Throughout my life, I have always had quite a few female friends. Each stage of my life has presented me with new, unique women who taught me and supported me. My career would not be where it is today without these women. This post outlines why female friendships can be one of the key factors to your success and professional growth.

They will be honest with you

To help you do more with your life and career. Having friends at various career levels gives you the opportunity to examine what may be lacking in your own career. In my experience, women tend to be more honest about compensation and benefits. While it’s still culturally very taboo, discussing salary and benefits with close friends and colleagues can be eye-opening. This goes for both men and women, but in my experience, people tend to be open along gender lines, not across them.

It’s only through honest communication that women will begin to close the wage gap. At one point, I became close with a colleague, and we discovered on a business trip that our salaries differed greatly. Our responsibilities did not differ significantly, and it was only because I had pushed for more. It was eye-opening for both of us. For her, I believe it showcased her argument for a higher salary at her next position. For me, it showcased how arguing for more at various points really can make a difference. While transparency with male colleagues and friends would be even better, we need to start somewhere.

Female friends empathize with your struggle

If there’s a woman that hasn’t had at least one negative experience at work, I’d love to hear from her. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to matter what industry you work in, a negative experience will likely occur eventually. Whether it’s getting let go from your job, or misogyny, or sexual or verbal harassment, we’ve all got a story. Female friends and colleagues have a way of hearing your struggle, empathizing with it, and if needed, calling for action. It’s often easy to minimize your own experience at work, especially if you work in a male-dominated industry. Having others weigh in can make the difference between letting something go and choosing to move forward.

Women support women

I know that there’s this cultural trope that women backstab each other and actively root against each other. That has just not been my experience. If anything, the women in my life have been supportive and push me to be the best version of myself – professionally AND personally. I want to crush the idea that women need to compete in a professional sphere because it just doesn’t have to be true. We’re all just trying our best, and there’s enough going against us as women in the working world already. We should be each others’ advocates, not adversaries.

In 2020, I discovered my favorite new social media platform, Fairygodboss, which is exclusively dedicated to empowering women in their careers and providing a platform for questions, concerns, and general support. It’s been a godsend with the new job that I’ve recently taken, and with general supportive, constructive advice about professional growth. I highly recommend you check it out if you haven’t already.

Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It’s splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.

-L.M. Montgomery

To be extra cheesy, I really do believe that your female friends can be the wind beneath your wings, both personally and professionally. If you are willing to be vulnerable, you will reap the benefits of closer relationships and career growth – through deserved raises or advice on future moves. Reach out to your ladies, let them know their opinions are important to you. You never know what advice or opportunities may arise.